Update

I'm pretty sure that Maren is over the worst of it. What a crazy experience!!!
Her fever has come down, she is voluntarily drinking and eating a little bit and her big grin makes an appearance more and more every day. She won't have to be admitted so obviously we're really happy. Now we're just hoping that Nyla stays healthy (she's been fine so far, so I'm very optimistic).
I'm so proud of her. From the day she was born she has been tough... a little fighter. She's totally going to be the type that doesn't let anything get in her way.
Nyla has been very worried about Maren. She's barely left her side, and if Maren makes even the smallest squeak Nyla will sound the alarm. Such a sweet big sister :) Now that Maren is getting better, Nyla is preparing all kinds of games for them to play together. Sigh... I'm really going to enjoy watching their relationship grow.

Darryl has been gone for the last few days and was finally able to come home today for a little while. It was hard for him to be away when things were so scary at home. It has been sooooooooooooooo nice having him around... hey... what the hell am I doing awake?? I have reinforcements now... its nap time.

PS thanks so much for the calls and emails!

NOOOOOOOOO

Maren, our little one has just been diagnosed with the H1N1 virus. She is incredibly ill and I could lie and say I'm dealing with things well, but I won't bother lying.
So, I'm calling all thoughts, prayers, pretty much anything... even dancing around with chicken bones if you're feeling it...
She's on Tamiflu (?? I'm pretty sure that's the name of it... I'm not going to get up and check) if there is no improvement by Friday she'll be admitted somewhere where there is a paediatric unit. We're obviously wanting an improvement by Friday.
The rest of us are healthy. I'm determined to keep us that way!

the best news EVER!

I was visiting a friend's blog the other day and found some really interesting and useful information. It's the kind of info that makes you feel all warm and happy inside... prepare yourselves for the wonder of it....
Imagine that someone really pisses you off, and not just a little bit. I mean SERIOUSLY pisses you off, but you aren't really allowed to hide in the bushes and beat them when they least expect it, you can't sneak up behind them and bitch slap them when they finally turn around, and you can't throw heavy objects at them... so what's a person to do??? I HAVE THE ANSWER check out http://www.mailpoop.com/ You can send them a big ol' pile of stinky, nasty dog poo. You can do it anonymously, but if I go through the trouble of ORDERING dog shit online when I have plenty in the woods around the house, you better believe I'm sending a big fat card along with it. Oh, you'll know its from me alright, and maybe, just maybe you'll learn to stop pissing me the hell off! Is this the greatest or what??
I know your first reaction might be "Well, that's a hell of a lot of gross." But now this info will be stuck in your head FOREVER, and next time someone really pisses you off you'll be thinking "Oh, you're soooooo getting a pile of dog shit in the mail buddy!!!" It will save you from snapping when keeping cool is more advisable. You'll thank me... if not now, someday soon.

I admit, my sense of humor is twisted. I enjoy the crazy in life. I'd enjoy sending you some dog poop. Heeheehee, just thinking about it is making me smile.

Let's see, what else is new?? Ummmmm, not a hell of a lot. It's cold. Winter came early. All the old dudes at the Co-op are talking about how this is going to be "A bitch of a winter". What I'd like to know, is how is that any different than usual around here. We live in the frozen north people! We are the ones that should be doing the whole cut open an animal and use it for a warm coat thing (I'm not a freak, try watching star wars). I'm feeling more prepared for this winter though. I'm ordering all the freaking cold weather gear for the kiddos, since we have no choice but to go outside at least twice a day to check the beasts of the fields. (Speaking of the beasts, two of those rat bastards just sauntered on home the other day... the same 2 that I spent HOURS chasing through the fields. I logged many a mile chasing those effers, and they just walk on home when they feel like it. PFFFFFT. Next time I'm just going to kick them in the weird llama ass).
And, since being snowed in for days on end is not cool, we have become a 2 truck family. I know some people think its wasteful to have 2 trucks instead of a truck and something more efficient, and I would have agreed with you at one time, but not anymore. When Darryl is working he's gone, sometimes for days. That means that I do all the farm stuff. It sucks to go to town and actually only have room in your vehicle to get either animal food or human food, so you choose one then get home and find that your driveway is totally drifted in (its about a mile long) and there's no earthly way you can power through that mess of snow in the wimpy blazer 4X4. So you dig and dig and dig, then give up and show some leg to the next dude with a plow that happens to drive by (kidding, we are waaaay out in the boonies... no dudes with plows just drive by... I'd totally show them some leg if it meant getting in my driveway though). Then, since you could only get one type of food, you realize that at the end of it all you still have to do it all again tomorrow. Effff that.
Now, I can get everything INCLUDING a load of water, then go all mad 4X4 lady when I get home. I can run over the effing moose that wags its stupid moose ass in my face all the time, and get home in time to check all the animals before it gets dark. See, much better being a 2 truck family.
And yet another reason to stand up and cheer HOORAY for leaving this ghastly land behind and moving somewhere that -40 is NOT NORMAL. I'm totally going to go all HEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY this winter, I just know it.

Feeling Ranty...

There are 3 things REALLY pissing me off today.

1. I'm sick of Viagra, or penis enlargement junkmail. Serioulsy, I don't have a penis, I really don't need the mail. Besides, if I did have a penis I'm sure it would be impressive anyway... probably a record breaker.

2. Fashion Fads... I think fashion fads piss me off so much because it shows just how lame people can be. Come on, some person says, "Wouldn't it be funny to tell everyone that crazy 80's jeans are cool again??" Ta daaaaaa, everyone is wearing them.
I don't understand the crazy drive to 'fit in'. I don't understand why wearing the 'right thing' makes people so nutty in the brain. Seriously, you'd think that these people have eyes and would be like, "80's jeans??? You must be shitting me cuz they were ASS the first time around." Sadly, it just isn't so.
Why can't everyone just wear what they LIKE and not what everyone tells them to like.
Do they realize they're just wearing the same thing as everyone else??? It's probably some government ploy to get everyone wearing a 'uniform' so nobody can think independantly anymore. (I'm big on conspiracy theories, considering I'm a spy and all).
Sigh, I guess I just think its sad. Lame and sad.

3. Now, this one is a serious rant. I heard on the news about ANOTHER priest (bishop... whatever), who is going to jail for having child porn. I want to hunt him down and hurt him. I want all these nuns and priests and pastors and teacher and all the other effing bastards out there to pay, and pay severely for what they have done and are doing to kids.
I have rage that reaches super hero proportions when it comes to child abuse issues. I personally believe that people who do these things to children are no longer considered human. They are animals and should NOT be given the same rights as the rest of the world. HUMAN RIGHTS for these people??? You have got to be kidding me. Once a human becomes so twisted that they hurt innocent children they should be ended. Why give them another chance?? Why give them the option to do it again??
I know there is a lot of controversy about the death penalty. I don't want to get into a big debate, I just don't think these people deserve to be walking, and talking, and breathing, and living.
Do not say to me that we should leave it up to God to decide. I think that takes all responsibility away from the monsters, and from the people who are supposed to decide their fate. It makes it easy for us to do NOTHING and believe that it will all work itself out in the end. I do not agree with that. I think we need to take more responsibility for our lives, our children, the way we live and generally everything.
Man, I'm so angry I'm shaking. You better believe that if anyone ever so much as thinks about hurting my kids and I hear about it I will not be waiting for God to do the deciding.

Ok, I'm breathing... I'm calming myself...

I'm done... for now.

Quickies...

...as in quick updates :) This is going to be one.

Nyla's birthday was amazing. What a cool kid. I know she's mine, so I have to love her, but I'd love her anyway.
We rented a bouncy castle for her party... what a friggen great idea. Seriously, peeps with kids out there... do it! There will probably be some bounce related injuries, but Nyla is about as clumsy as me and she survived intact. So, normal non clumsy kids should be just fine.
Seeing her face when the bouncy castle inflated was worth a million bucks :) sigh... warm fuzzies in the guts.
I PROMISE pictures SOON. (Take that Kelly... you unbeliever!)

Other then that, I just seem to be losing my mind. A few days ago we were taking the kiddos to Dairy Queen for some 'last of the sunshine' ice cream cones (Darryl's mom is in town too). I was walking towards the door when I noticed that everyone was looking at me like I was all nekkid in public or something. Then Mr.Smartass (ie: Darryl) said, "Are you missing something??" Ahhh, but of course... I forgot Maren in the truck. (I was only about 2 feet away, so it wasn't like 'crazy bad mom' shit).
Yup, I'm awesome.
Then, earlier tonight we were having dinner at a friend's house and I was getting ready to feed Maren her bottle. Without even thinking I grabbed Nyla and stuck her on my lap... yup, even tipped her back and tried to feed her the bottle.
"Where is my mind" by the Pixies seems to be my theme song lately. I feel like a total jackass half the time. I should start drinking early in the day to re-set my equilibrium. Man, I have a lot of great ideas!

We're going to get our asses whipped by winter soon, so all my free time will now be spent gathering fire wood like some kind of freaky squirrel. I at least have my own chainsaw now, so I can be all freako and pretend the trees (which have already been destroyed by beavers along our creek) are people who need some schoolin' chainsaw style.

Ok, this is way longer then expected. I'm tired.
peace out homeslice

You know when you've started an official countdown to something and start to get really excited about it, the time you have left before the big exciting thing seems to drraaaaag on? OY!
I realize that we still have to get through the nasty ass winter here... but man, am I ever getting excited. I'm getting the excited jumping in my guts to be able to go HIKING again. I've missed it. Really, really missed it.
Calling all hiking and camping buddies.... prepare yourselves!!!

Happiness is....

The leaves are changing, the weather is stormy... fall is coming :) I love fall. I love the crisp air and being able to smell the cranberries in the woods. I love NOT melting under the sun's death ray, (although I did have a pretty sweet tan).
Yes, I can promise I'll be bitching about winter in a few short months, but for now I'm content.

The excitement of the 'BIG MOVE' is starting to make us a bit giddy. The whole concept of the new farm is growing and changing and becoming cooler then I ever imagined. I realize that cool to me is not necessarily cool to others, and I'm ok with that... but I'm going to share anyway.

I've already mentioned that we're going to be working our way 'off the grid', but we've decided to experiment with just how self sufficient we can be. It's like a huge challenge to see how much we can do ourselves in every aspect of farm life. Power, food... everything.
I've been canning :) I'm learning how to make pretty much everything... Ketchup, juice, bar b q sauce, salsa, spaghetti sauce... lots of stuff, in preparation of what's to come. (NO, I don't think we're preparing for the end of the world... and we're not building an underground bomb shelter... we're not THAT crazy... yet).
We're downsizing in a major way, getting rid of a lot of stuff, trying to figure out what our essentials are and we're going to see what happens.
I know it sounds like we're becoming crazy hippies, or weird compound people, but its not like that, really... unless you want to call me your leader and give me all your money... then I'll consider the whole compound thing. Its just a life experiment. An adventure of sorts. A challenge :) Besides, we're still big fans of deodorant and waxing... so we're not THAT extreme...
And you don't have to worry about the girls, we're going to make sure they don't turn all farm weird. I think they'll be pretty damn cool kids.
There's other exciting farm news that I'm just going crazy wanting to tell, but I'm not going to...
Just cross your fingers for the possibility of something really great happening (no, it has nothing to do with babies... I'm clearing that up NOW. There will not be any more babies, so lets all accept that and move on :)

Another SUPER exciting bit of news... a really great friend has decided that she wants to join us in this madness and become a business partner. I'm not going to say much about her yet, because she still has to explain to her family why she's giving up her job and life to move far away with a bunch of crazy hippie yahoos ;) I'll just say that we're excited to include her in our farm and family life. I'm totally going to force her to learn how to knit so we can make llama fur toques and scarves :) Bahahahahaaa, we really ARE going to be those weird hippie freaks aren't we...

Our farm truck died. I was a bit sad because it was a pretty cool truck. It was ancient and bright yellow... all the farmers got to know us by the truck. Anyway, its unbelievable how important a farm truck is to a farm. We have to haul our own water... its pretty hard with no damned truck. (We have a medium sized cistern). So we recently found another one. Its a beast, and the only reason I'm mentioning it is because some of you might remember our issues with getting snowed in here. That will not be a problem anymore... (You'd be so proud Jenny and Joni!)
It doesn't have the character of the old yellow truck, but hopefully it will make up for it in usefulness. I could totally run over that jackass moose that sits in our driveway and not have to worry.

I'm going to wait to do Nyla's update since her birthday is only a couple of weeks away. I can't believe she's going to be 3! Bizarre...

That's our life as of now. Things are pretty great in my opinion. So far a lot of people think we're crazy :) I'm ok with that too. I've always been a little bit off the beaten path, and am lucky that Darryl is happy to be there with me. We're not concerned about becoming rich, or having all the latest and greatest stuff. It's never been a big issue for either of us. We decided a long time ago not to join the 'rat race', so for us this is ideal. But, this is what WE want, we're not arrogant enough to believe that everyone should think and live the same way.
I just think that life is too short to live in a way that doesn't make you happy. Like that quote says, "Live the life you love." We are terrified and excited about the next chapter of life, but at least we know we're going to be loving life. That is pretty fricken cool.

Now I have to give a pat on the back to Darryl. I'm pretty lucky to be doing all of this with a man who is so involved with his kids that his big dream is to be present in their lives every day. He doesn't want to miss anything, he doesn't want to have to say goodnight over the phone ever again. He wants to have the girls following us around learning all sorts of great things and having a ball together. Family is his #1 priority. This move, the farm, this lifestyle is going to be a great thing for our family (including our newest family member, who's name I will share as soon as she is ready to have it shared). We are sooooo going to rock this :)
You should see the grin on my face. I can't effing wait to get this party started!!!

LOVE and other random stuff

First of all, I'm sending a BIG, HUGE, MUSHY CONGRATULATIONS to Kelly and Chad.
We can't wait to meet baby Leighton. (Nyla is still VERY excited :)
I just can't say enough about Kelly. She is the cat's meow, the rock to the jukebox, the awesome to... well, everything.
Kelly knows everything, and I mean everything about me. I don't have to hold back or hide anything, and I'm humbled that she trusts me enough to do the same.
She's been there always, without question, and WILL be there always, without question.
Obviously I'm oozing love today. I'm not usually mushy... I'm not even drunk.

Thinking about Kelly and how much I love her has really made me start thinking about some things in my life. Now, I have some sort of bizarre questions... or maybe they're actually statements. I don't know, you figure it out.

I'm in the process of simplifying all areas of my life. This includes my relationships... even with family (I should clarify that this is about parts of my family, mot the entirety). I know a lot of people are really close and connected with their family. I'm not. Does this mean that I have to pretend to be close just because we're genetically linked? We've all heard the quote "Blood is thicker than water". Well sure... in theory, but in reality IS IT?
My reasoning?? If a member of your family is basically a stranger, if neither of you are really into getting to know each other, and know you couldn't trust the person enough to tell them things that really matter anyway, why force it? If it was any relationship other than family, it would naturally phase out. Some people just don't mesh... genetically linked or not.
Basically, I'm at the point where I know myself better then I ever have. I know what I want and what I don't want. I know what I have time and energy for, and basically, I don't want to fake anymore. I think it is completely OK to wish people well, but let them go their own way, without guilt... whoever they are, regardless of DNA.

I think we do actually choose our family without being completely conscious of it. Think about the people you surround yourself with. Think about the people you can be yourself with. Think about the people you miss. Think about the people you can be HONEST with. When your world is falling apart who do you want to open up to? Who do you share your dreams with... even if they seem totally crazy?? Who KNOWS you?
In my opinion THIS IS OUR FAMILY! Sometimes our choices include our DNA linked family, sometimes not... and that's OK.
So, what do you think??? Anyone out there feel the same? Be anonymous if you want, I'm just really curious.

I know this is going to piss some people off. Its not about being angry or anything like that, its just where I am right now.

PS the Nyla update is still coming.

Maren, now and then.

I start to feel bad when I start getting emails asking for updates on the girls. I have great intentions of sending emails and pictures... but unfortunately I'm about as good at that as I am at keeping in touch over the phone.
I'm going to do separate updates because of the time factor. Maren today, Nyla tomorrow.

Maren is quickly closing in on 9 months! Wow, where did the time go??? I'm amazed by her... I can't believe the changes,the growth, the strength, the sweetness. We can already see glimpses of her sense of humor, and temper (holy smokes, watch out world!)
In some ways she's right where any other 9 month old baby would be, but in other ways she's right where she should be (just under 7 months).
She's sporting 2 tiny little teeth, and if her mood is any indication, ready to sprout about 8 zillion more.
Maren is crazy about Nyla. She smiled first for Nyla and now its obvious that Nyla is her hero. (When Nyla hears Maren cry she'll yell "I'm coming Maren!!!" and takes off at a dead run).
She says "Dada, Mama" and "Moo" and is working on "Nyla". She eats like a horse, and sings like a rock star.
She produces more crap then any kid I've ever seen, but its possible I successfully blocked the sheer volume of crap that is produced by babies from my memory.
She hates the stroller, loves the snuggli because she can look around and see everything.
She could bounce for hours in the jolly jumper, and especially loves it when I set it up outside. (The dogs usually curl up around her feet when she's bouncing).
So far, it seems like she's going to love animals just as much as Nyla. She giggles when she sees any of them (except the chickens... but I totally understand because they're shifty little buggers).
I really like seeing the relationship between the girls grow. I'm really excited to see them giggling away at their own private jokes and playing like sisters play.
She is truly lovely.

Then. 1 1/2 months old.

Now. 8 1/2 months.
What a little face :) Gotta love the olympic size pout... she knows how to rock the cute factor.

Party with the carnies

This weekend the annual fall fair and rodeo was in town, which provides a social outlet for all the town's weirdos... It's like a big ol' weirdo convention, complete with carnies, barf and cowboys.
I'm not one who generally gives a flying rats ass about 'fashion'. I do my own thing, so I don't judge others who have their own fashion freak inside of them. I do, however, have to draw the line somewhere... I don't understand how anyone could leave the house thinking its ok to wear a bustier, jogging pant capris and 4 inch spike stilettos. Am I alone here in believing that this is so wrong??
I remember reading a friend's facebook status a few weeks ago about how she was working somewhere and was faced with seeing too many butt cheeks thanks to the resurgence of short shorts. I laughed... until I understood her pain. Where to you look to ease your eyes from the damage inflicted by nasty ass, when it is EVERYWHERE??
We taught Nyla all about being private and covering what is supposed to be covered quite a while ago. So I was trying in vain to shield her from the endless parade of skanks, when a particularly skanky skank skanked on by. Nyla piped up and said, "I don't think she knows that boobies are supposed to be private". Wow... my little girl, almost 3 years old has more sense then 75% of the people we saw there. Amazing!

One thing I do love about the fair is that the local farmers set up a petting zoo for kids. Both the kids LOOOOOVED it. Nyla, being the outgoing and cutie pie child that she is managed to charm people into letting her cuddle the animals Elmyra style. When we were passing the goats she eyed one up and said, "Mommy, I could wrestle that goat". WHAT??? Sigh... for some reason this kid has been on a wrestling kick. Her big dream is to wrestle an alligator, or now, a goat. She's practicing on her teddy bears... She's so proud of herself I don't have the heart to tell her that she's nuts. If you happen to visit, be prepared to have a little girl fling herself onto you and yell "I'm wrestling you... FALL DOWN!".

The reign of the evil sun is OVER! We've had a full 24 hours of storming and hard, crazy rain. I LOVE IT! I love being able to go outside without feeling like my eyelids are vaporizing. My pale ass kids could leave the house without being slicked down in a vat of oozy, slippery sunscreen. Have you ever tried to hold on to a hot, sweaty baby who has literally been greased up? Yeah, go try it, its super fun.
But we survived. I'm the only one that cooked my melon to barf-it-up extremes... damned lost hat (which I found once the rain started... buggers).
My crazy, old lady neighbor told me that she was taking lots of cool baths.. as if that wasn't already too much info, she felt the need to tell me all about her heat rash too. SWEET! I must be getting too friendly, I should really start throwing things at her again.

Do you ever see something that makes you laugh a lot for no apparent reason? I saw this and seriously, every time I think about it I laugh.
Just thought I'd share, since laughing is an important part of life.


I'm going to admit something... I love 80s music (and 90s too). You know when you're driving somewhere listening to local radio and they bust out the great 'old' stuff. Come on people... who isn't instantly rocketed back to the past when you hear a certain Bryan Adams song? EVERYBODY has a Bryan Adams related memory (admit it you closet Adams fans). The great thing is that it doesn't even matter if you love him or think he blows, his music is still stamped all over our generation. Helooooo Robin Hood???
I want to know.. which songs instantly send you flying down memory lane? (Not necessarily Adams related).
To this day I love 'Wonderwall' by Oasis. It was pretty much played to death on radio, but it instantly brings me back to a really great summer before college. Lots of great memories, lots of great people... great times.
'Just like Jesse James' by Cher makes me think of the days of sneaking out, playing pool at Gus', Carmen :)
And I have my fair share of Bryan Adams related memories :D
I love that, I love hearing a song and instantly being transported to another time. I love all the great memories that are too easy to forget when we're supposed to be all 'grown up'.
Share yours!

Sizzle sizzle...

Man, I'm hot...
Again, I find myself complaining about the weather... (and you thought I was just being conceited).
For some reason, northern BC has become the surface of the friggen sun. I live in the north... we're supposed to be working on our igloo plans by now, not wilting and frying in the unceasing and intolerable heat.
Those of you who know me know that me and heat do not mesh. I get all wilty and floppy and barfy. Hard labor in the crazy heat is starting to make me delusional I think. I'm pretty sure I've been having conversations with people who aren't really there. If you happen to see me mumbling to myself, just let me be... I probably think I've found a new friend.

We were recently at a party for some family friends, all of the guests happen to be farmers of some sort. It was interesting and a bit creepy sitting around like all the other farmers, bitching about weather and heat and how we're all going to find enough hay etc for our animals... not to mention what its done to our gardens. OY! You know you belong when you can bitch along with the rest of them :)

Now, for something completely different.
When you're flipping through satellite channels have you ever noticed how weird TLC is? I've re-named it "The Channel of Horror and Disturbia". I don't watch much TV, and when I do the LAST thing I want to see is 'The Man with 6 Heads', or 'The Man With the Dog Face Transplant'.
Prepare yourself, my next comments are going to piss some people off...
I really can't stand all the shows about people with a zillion kids. First of all, I think if adults want to act like fools on TV for money then by all means, go for it, but kids don't get to make that choice.
There's a family with 18 kids. Yes 18 freaking kids!! I was talking to someone about this, and they mentioned that they have a really good setup, because the older kids are all responsible for a younger kid. They help them dress etc... WHAT? How the hell is that a good setup?
So, the older kids get stuck parenting their siblings... right, that's just super for them. In my opinion, if someone has so many kids that they have to get some of their children to help be parents, then they have too many damn kids! PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE PARENTS.
Now, I know some people will argue that this responsibility teaches them to be good parents. I call a big ol' bullshit on that. Being a good parent to your child teaches the child about good parenting, not forcing them to be parents when they're still kids themselves.
Seriously people, if you're expecting your kids to help do your job, then you need to re-think your plan. Its not ok to rob kids of their childhood because YOU choose to have a huge family.
I agree that all kids should have chores and responsibilities, but they should all be age appropriate. (And really, there's a difference between occasionally babysitting siblings, and being given parenting responsibilities, so don't even try that debate).
I know people who were put in this position and believe me, it didn't work out well for them.
Rooooaaaar... rant over. See, boo to TLC.

On to the new farm. We're still looking for the right land. Its more difficult then it sounds. Then we have to decide if its better to find something with housing on it, or find something with nothing because starting from scratch - while going off the grid - is sometimes easier then converting. We have a house basically chosen to build, so what would we do with whatever happens to be there? But if we don't find something with some kind of housing already on it, where will we live while building a house. There will be so much building happening in the first little while, I can imagine the house will take a while to get done.
We've decided on a dome similar to this one. They are so energy efficient and there is less wasted space (I know it seems like a dome would be a huge waste of space, but it really isn't). My older brother (aka: Red Foreman)calls us 'damn hippies', but I'm willing to wager that he'll come around sooner then later.


Well, its time to slather everyone in buckets of sunscreen and head outside. Cross your fingers that I make it over to the llama pasture before turning into a puddle of goo.

Contest time!!

The time is drawing near and we need a name for the farm. I have a lot of ideas, unfortunately, with my humor they end up being inappropriate... and strangely enough seem to center around Irish slang.
Anyway, we've decided to do a NAME OUR FARM contest :) You're wondering what you'll win right??? Only the best prize EVER! We'll name our milk cow after YOU! hee hee hee.


Yes, its the real prize... doesn't everyone want a cow named after them??? (This isn't our cow. We won't get one until we move).






A couple hints:
It can't be tooooooo long
We like funny, or at least mildly humorous names
We're not really into fru fru names.

If you don't want to post them here, feel free to email them to me.
Alright you wonderful and imaginative peeps, let 'er rip!

My love for farming

It's interesting how something that came about by accident has ended up being the plan for our future. I can't believe how much I love it. I don't know why, because half the time its so bloody frustrating, but as I was weeding our mammoth garden today and was thinking about all the little things I love about being in the country and our little farm.
Here's my list:

1. Perfectly worn in work gloves.









2. It's so quiet here that I can hear a storm blow in.








3. Being totally physically exhausted from a day of hard work outside.






4. Watching Nyla's love for the outdoors grow, and Maren's total awe of everything she sees outside. I love knowing that my girls are going to be outside kids.









5. I love the smell of soil. Creepy I know... I love coming in from working in the garden and still being able to smell the soil (like now, I was weeding in the garden and still smell like it). Or when its been really hot and finally rains. That garden soil smell. LOVE IT.
OH and the satisfaction of seeing things that we've planted grow. HA! Take THAT supermarket!





There's so much more... sigh.
A lot of people think we're crazy for jumping into the organic garden. Yes, its a huge gamble, but when you already love and understand the lifestyle it isn't as scary. I think its scary to work years and years in a job you hate just to pay the bills. I think its scary that kids watch HOURS of TV and play HOURS of video games every day. And don't get me started on the food we're putting into our bodies!
Really, there's nothing new under the sun... we're just going back to how things used to be.
Have I mentioned yet that we're going to be off the grid?? Hee hee hee, pick your jaws up off the floor, its not as crazy as it sounds. It's something we decided we wanted to do before the idea of the organic farm came about. Our goal is for the farm to be totally self sufficient for power, etc.
I'm going to answer one question that a lot of people have been asking... YES we will have indoor plumbing. We're not going back to 1802 people!!
I'm happy, I'm REALLY excited, and I'm waiting not so patiently for everything to fall into place so we can get this party started. Cross your fingers that its all a done deal SOON!
Now, its not all fun and games. There are a few things I DON'T like at all...

1. Chasing effing llamas all over the effing countryside. Those rat bastards that took off are still gone and are now way off in Alberta. Don't ask me how we're planning to get them home...

2. BEARS! I don't feel I need to elaborate on that one. Coyotes are pretty annoying too.

3. Not having enough time to do everything that needs to be done. Days are too short.

4. Country friggen music. Just because I'm a farmer does NOT mean I love country music.

5. Crazy farmer neighbors. Good lord... I have stories. People are so weird.

Anyway, I have to go scrub the dirt out from under my nails... ewww.

Another day in the land of crazy

I'm getting more and more excited for our big move. I'm excited about the business, and being back in the mountains. I'm really excited about all the wonderful things that can be done in the mountains!!!! I recently had a GREAT idea, I'm going to install a zip line! I'm really jazzed up about the whole idea... just look at the pic below (ignore the fool in the helmet). Who wouldn't love that?? I'm going to do some research so that it doesn't end up being my own private death trap...
The only problem with being in such a great area is that I'm wondering how the heck I'm going to be able to get all the work done that needs to be done. The work for the first couple of years is staggering... mind blowing... freak show crazy! I'm thinking that if I don't take time to have some fun I'll end up all nutty like this lady... actually, she seems like a pretty cool lady :)

I'm sure I'll have lots of company in my crazy schemes :) Hurrah for great and crazy friends!! I hope you're all gearing up for all sorts of fun... you will not believe the ideas floating around in my head :) PREPARE YOURSELVES!! heeeheeehheeeeeeeee!!!!

PS: I will do more kid pic posts soon. REALLY!

Kiddos

I have not made good on my promise to email pictures to everyone... I'm so terrible I haven't even emailed pictures to Grandparents! That's the lowest of the low I know.
So, here are just a couple of pictures of the girlies. They're both doing well. Nyla is very interested in music right now. She doesn't care what the instrument is, she loves to play it. She especially loves the drums, harmonica, guitar and tambourine. I have a feeling she's going to be a throwback to the 60's :)
I have never in my life seen a soul with so much energy. She's definitely a twinkling star.

This is what happens when you let kids dress themselves. She chose jammies and an undie hat... yes, she's wearing underwear on her head. She liked the fact that her hair could 'see out too'.


Maren is so much like Nyla, but so different. She is the most laid back kid I've ever seen. She wakes up with a huge grin and generally has the grin all day. Teething has thrown a wrench into her easy going attitude, but she is just lovely. Cuddly, sweet and drooly. She is a bit disgusting at this point... she can crap up to her shoulders, barf all over herself (and me) and drool all over her face and down her stomach in the span of minutes. I seriously just want to hose her off sometimes...
She has no premie issues that we've noticed. She's doing full rolls and beginning to sit up a bit (supported). She's 7 months old and doing great.


So, that's a quick update. I won't even promise to send pictures anymore. I'll just say that eventually it will happen. Really...

Llama hunt 2009

We finally got the llamas sheared. A dude and his wife travel around shearing llamas... it was friggen crazy. How weird is it that this is how they spent their honeymoon???
First of all, our llamas aren't used to being sheared, so they were all pissy to start with. Thank god the dude was like the friggen llama whisperer! He'd stare them down then grab them around the neck and hold on while they had a melt down. I'm surprised he survived because they were out to dismember him! Finally they'd calm down and he'd give them a big loooong hug and whisper to them :) It would be sweet if it wasn't a bit disturbing... then he haltered them and led them into the llama squeeze to shear them. They put up a big fuss, pretty much hacking up every nasty bit of nasty in their guts and horking it out at us, but most are sheared.
Unfortunately a few were so pissed they jumped the fence and headed for fields far away.
The local farmers hate us and our dumb ass llamas. They've been threatening to shoot them if they keep hanging around their fields. We've been herding them home, but they make a break for it when we get too close. Good lord, its frustrating after chasing the bastards for miles and miles and getting sooo close to home, to have them turn and run all the way back to where you originally started. Next time I'm going to punch them. My peace loving soul is all freaky since moving onto the farm.
Recently 3 disappeared... I have a theory... you'll see below.

Pre shearing (I'm not supposed to have favorites, but she's my favorite. One of the AWOL llamas)

different llama post shearing (bahahahaaaaa! she looks humiliated :) This pic is for Christy

My theory of what REALLY happened to our 3 missing llamas.

Shifty farmers...
Speaking of shifty farmers :) We're coming closer to our big move. I'm sooo excited! We are shocked and amazed at how things are turning out. It's bigger and better then we originally planned, so stay tuned for some great updates. I'm probably experiencing 60% excitement and yeehaww-ness, and 40% total and complete terror. I need more zen in my life.

This time I'm going to keep quiet until we're ready to unveil, but prepare yourselves for sheer awesomeness.

Geez, I had a lot to share, but now I forget everything.
I put my hand in a huge pile of chicken crap. It's not news worthy but it was friggen gross.

That's all for now. If anything amazing happens I'll share.

Boogitty boogitty....

A kid (14ish) walked up to me in Walmart and asked me if I'm a Vampire. To be fair, he was jing-a-lingin high as a freaking kite... and apparently I'm "really f*uckin white" and have "freaky eyes"... come the hell on... my eyes are BLUE its not like they glow red or are oozing the blood of the undead.
What do you say when someone asks you a retarded question??? I just said yes, I am.
He said "Dope." Seriously???? "dope" is all you've got for me??? You think I'm undead and all you can say is DOPE??
I blame that stupid vampire movie for this.

I don't have anything against vampires. In fact, I'm pretty sure the crazy old lady at the next farm is a vampire. (I have evidence though... I always see her peeking out of the forest at me. She acts all shifty and vampireish AND I'm pretty sure she yelled when I kept whipping that garlic at her...). the reason I'm so pissed is because I HAVE A BLOODY TAN! When I see myself in the mirror I wonder who that brown girl is.. I'm more tanned then I have ever been in my entire life. Who the hell does he think he is to come and shit all over that? Little bastard.

I'm sure I have more to update, but I have company and I'm being rude and anti-social.
I'll be back...

Prepare yourself

Ok, just to warn you,this post will be full of cursing and yelling... mostly because of THIS GUY. Yes our bear has returned... bigger and badder then ever.

Well, this isn't a picture our actual bear, but this is how he looked when our dogs were trying to rip his stupid, ugly rat bastard face off. I hate this fucker. Seriously, seriously HATE him.
I'm usually a nature loving, peace loving soul, but this guy IS going to see the business end of my brand spankin' new gun. I don't care if I sound like a freaky red neck, I'm just so PISSED and so ready to blow this mofo away. (See, lots of rage).
This guy is the stuff that nightmares are made of, except its my REAL DAMNED LIFE! He stalks our house... he hangs in the garden behind the house and terrorizes the llamas, but as soon as anybody is near with a gun he disappears like friggen Houdini.
Our llamas have already had some bear related injuries and one fatality and I really don't want to see any more of that shit. Good lord...
He snuck up on me and Nyla last year, but THANK GOD we were in the barn when he came around the side. This is where I'd start screaming FUCK repeatedly, but I'm practicing some calming breathing exercises, so I think I'll be able to control myself.
Don't worry, we're being EXTREMELY careful when we're outside. I refuse to be prisoner in my home because of this bear, but we aren't being flippant or stupid.

On a more positive note... the garden expansion is going really well. It's HUGE! I love it :) I love all the manual labor that goes into it. I love the feeling of being physically exhausted from a day or hard work outside. I'm getting more and more excited for our new business... its going to rock the friggen casbah.
Unfortunately, since we've been working outside so much I'm neglecting my house. Have I mentioned how much I hate housework? UUUUGHHHH its like penance for all of my bad behavior.

I went to Edmonton ALONE over the May long weekend! I haven't been away like that for a very long time. It was crazy busy (I took the Bellyfit Instructor training... and LOOOOOVED it). It was nice to spend some time with Hannah and meet her man Nash. Cool cats for sure!

Other then that things are going on as usual. I won't post again for a while. Hopefully I'll have a disturbing murderized bear photo to share... I WILL be wearing his head for a hat, savage style.
Oh, I have a tan :) Its a MIRACLE!!!!! I'm no longer see through!!!!! sweet ass sun.
Now that I'm mumbling crazy talk its definitely time to go :)
See ya!

***Update***
The bear bit my friggen dog! He's in a lot of pain but VERY lucky. He bit right through his skin into the muscle under his doggie armpit. I have to carry the poor little guy around :( Now I have blinding rage issues.

A conservation officer finally came around to set some traps (not the scary ones with all the teeth that snap the animal's leg off).He hung some meat in the trees to test some kind of theory as well as setting pot snares filled with applesauce...
Now, me being a smartass said "Why the hell would a bear go for some applesauce in a pot snare when he can get his paws on some meat, regardless if he has to climb a little??? After all, this is a BEAR." Sure enough, all the meat is gone from the trees, a bunch of branches are snapped and the trunks are clawed up, and the pot snares are untouched.
SERIOUSLY??? Am I the only one in this godforsaken land of rednecks with a BRAIN???
Time for some land mines...

Catch ya later!

Spring/Summer is a busy time for most people, so I'm sure it won't be a shock that I've decided to leave blog land for a while. We're busy and have a lot of new and exciting things going on, and are also gearing up for a big move.

Blogging is great because it allows me to do one update for everyone, instead of trying to send pics etc... which I suck at... but one thing I really wasn't aware of was the blog politics!! Good lord, I'm tired of blog politics.
Here's a hint... If you find me offensive, don't read my blog. I know its crazy, but it just might work! And seriously... give up on the angry emails! I am who I am and that's not going to change...
H'mmm, obviously I have some blog issues... definitely time to take a break ;)

I will most likely be back now and then, probably closer to fall/winter. Hopefully I'll have some amazing and exciting updates to share!

Have a great summer everyone!
Thanks to Cindy for passing this on to me.


Bah hhahhahahahaaha! Sorry peeps, I don't buy into the hype :)