My name is Anita, I'm a Christmas slacker.

I'm not one of those people who have their Christmas shopping done in August. I'm not one of those people who has all of their Christmas wrap put into those wrap thingies for quick wrapping access. Don't get me wrong, now that I have kids I love doing all the Christmas stuff, but I'm not intense about it.

This is the time of year when people really get their freak on. Seemingly normal people get all 'hepped' up about table cloths... really... table cloths. I can't believe I exist in a world where getting the right table cloth can make that much of a difference to life. To be fair, I'm a Christmas slacker, so I just don't give a flying rat's ass about having the right table cloth.
I love keeping things simple. I don't like the stress of perfection... (my natural perfection doesn't cause me any stress... don't worry). So, simple it will be. Fun and simple...

You know what is really amazing? Baking. You throw a whole bunch of stuff into a bowl and squish it around, then it turns into cookies... its like a Christmas miracle.

Another great thing about Christmas?? Cheezy Christmas movies. My favorite of all time is Scrooged. LOVE IT. The Santa Clause... love it too. The Muppet Christmas Carol is definitely in the top 5. The 1951 version of A Christmas Carol is hard to beat.
There are some pretty crap Christmas movies out there though. I CAN'T STAND the Charlie Brown Christmas one. Elf, Home Alone... uuuugh. Waaaay too cringe worthy. The one with that annoying blond kid with glasses... BOOOOOOO! Total crap.
Have you noticed that some of the older Christmas specials (like Rudolph) are CRAAAAZY? They rip all of the teeth out of the Yeti dude, then torment him like a bunch of little bastards. They even show the dude standing there with a pile of Yeti teeth. Just weird. That just doesn't say heart warming Christmas special to me.

I love the old school Christmas carols. I'm a big fan of Burl Ives, Dean Martin... actually, the whole "Rat Pack". I'm not a big fan of the new ones coming out... you know what I mean. Things like "Just a Lonely HO on Christmas", or "I wanna get jiggy with the big man"... Ok, I made them up, but you get my point. Creepy Christmas carols are just WRONG!

Now, the WORST thing about Christmas??? That freaky cake filled with evil little bits of ass. I've heard stories about people making it MONTHS in advance and hanging it in a stocking. A STOCKING. That makes sense. It actually absorbs the taste of nasty foot.... the mystery of how it can taste THAT bad is solved.

If you like the stuff, don't tell me. I WILL think less of you. Creep.