I'm not crazy like THAT...

I have some important advice for you...
NEVER start a conversation with, "I'd like to give you some of my eggs". Sure, I know I have chickens and have bowls and bowls of friggen eggs balancing inside of my fridge, and that I'm running out of places to hide them, and if I have to find another egg abundant recipe I'm going to barf... but to them it could possibly sound like I'm a super-freak who's trying to peddle my inside-the-ovary eggs like a common ovary egg peddler.
When someone thinks you're trying to give them YOUR eggs, it becomes really tricky because if they say yes its even creepier (go get your own damn ovary eggs), but if they say no and act all disgusted then you're left wondering, what the hell is wrong with my eggs? Then you get all angry and bitter and start mumbling about how you'd never let your eggs touch their crappy ass uterus with a 10 foot pole. (pffffft... it could be the wine, but I just realized that the 10 foot pole thing is pretty funny... hee hee hee).
So, the moral... well, there isn't a moral. Just specify what species the eggs are coming from, because god knows you don't want to be known as THAT kind of girl. (You know, the kind that tosses around her eggs all willy-nilly).

I'm happy our chickens are all gung-ho about their egg production. I mean, that must be really important to a chicken right? What else to they do except drop an egg from their butts every day or so?? They must be feeling very fulfilled considering they're totally rocking out on their life's purpose. I don't want to rain on their parade, but we have so many friggen eggs. I have never in my life seen so many eggs. I give them away to absolutely anyone who will take them. I've even started dropping them off to the old lady vampire neighbor... who in return gave me some wicked carrot cake (without raisins boooyah!) Who knew that the undead could be kick-ass bakers??
I know this isn't considered a problem. I just don't want them to spoil, and I don't want to be chained to my oven baking my ass off for the foreseeable future. So, either I start egging people's houses or I figure out what the hell I'm going to do with the excess. Hell, I just had an idea... I can egg random people. I don't like your hat... EGG ON YOU! You totally coughed in my direction... EGG ON YOU! Your perfume is so bad they're going to start using it as the bad smell in natural gas... EGG ON YOU! H'mmm, never mind... I don't need help after all :)