A kid (14ish) walked up to me in Walmart and asked me if I'm a Vampire. To be fair, he was jing-a-lingin high as a freaking kite... and apparently I'm "really f*uckin white" and have "freaky eyes"... come the hell on... my eyes are BLUE its not like they glow red or are oozing the blood of the undead.
What do you say when someone asks you a retarded question??? I just said yes, I am.
He said "Dope." Seriously???? "dope" is all you've got for me??? You think I'm undead and all you can say is DOPE??
I blame that stupid vampire movie for this.
I don't have anything against vampires. In fact, I'm pretty sure the crazy old lady at the next farm is a vampire. (I have evidence though... I always see her peeking out of the forest at me. She acts all shifty and vampireish AND I'm pretty sure she yelled when I kept whipping that garlic at her...). the reason I'm so pissed is because I HAVE A BLOODY TAN! When I see myself in the mirror I wonder who that brown girl is.. I'm more tanned then I have ever been in my entire life. Who the hell does he think he is to come and shit all over that? Little bastard.
I'm sure I have more to update, but I have company and I'm being rude and anti-social.
I'll be back...
6 comments:
Okay...all I've got is....LMFAO...sorry!
"a vampire?"...
A joy, as always!!! And I'm positive we wouldn't even recognize you and your bronzeness! Little Bugger (the 'dope' kid, that is!)
You are so freaking hilarious! I'm girl crushing on you from a far, I think we could be great friends. I keep asking James to take me to Canada, but he won't budge,not yet anyways. - Carolyn
Ahhh, kids these days!
Jenny: I'm glad my sad sad tale could provide some laughs for you!
You're right Ruth, you totally won't recognize me at all. If I'm there at night you won't even see me cuz I'm so tanned :)
Carolyn: Tell that dirt bag hubby of yours to get his arse over the border for a visit! I have a feeling he's still scared of my ninja capabilities... tell him I'll do my best not to frighten him with my amazing ninja skills.
We'll be moving to Smithers soon, so maybe we could meet half way! Lets go camping in the Charlottes or something!!! We'll start planning and fill the men folk in when they need to know :)
I think we'll be great friends too! I can tell you're a cool cat :)
Anita..!! when are you in Smithers!! i am so excited.
awesome... a vampire huh.. never had that one.. oye.. HAHA
did you cetch that bear yet?
Seriously i wish you'd post more, you're awesome and make me smile.
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