Do you ever have those days when you wonder if you've somehow stumbled into an alternate universe??? You realize that you must have somehow fallen into crazy land, or got sucked into a wormhole shortly after waking up...
Yesterday I was in the Twilight Zone...
I decided to take Nyla to town for some 'mommy time'. Our plan was to get all decked out for Easter, so we headed to Walmart, completely unsuspecting the horror that we were about to experience.
As soon as I stepped through the door I knew that something was NOT right. Everything was loud, screechy and COUNTRY. We stood frozen by the entrance until the greeter (with a painful look on her face) pushed a cart into us. We took a few more steps and there, by the Easter display was the source of the pain and horror.... karaoke!! WHAT THE HELL!?
It was strange and confusing. I still don't know why they were doing karaoke at Walmart... all I know is that it was painfully bad. People were walking through the isles like zombies while crazy people belted out either country or gansta rap. At one point Nyla looked up at me with her beautiful eyes wide and said, "Mommy, can you please ask them to stop doing that???" If only...
We ended our Walmart shop early and pretty much had to punch out unsuspecting strangers in a race to the checkout. Finally, we were free.
but it didn't end there...
My dad is a member of a sportsman club here. Every year they have this big gun show at the arena... haha, big guns... :) My dad is quite elderly, and is not well, but every year he volunteers to do security. He stays the whole weekend, even sleeps there. So we usually go check how things are going.
At Walmart I got Nyla some big balloons to play with because the gun show is hideously boring. (I'm sure you can imagine... table after table of guns. Just guns... and weirdos). She was running around throwing her balloon in the air when it snagged on something and BANG! It was so freaking loud and of course echoed throughout the whole arena. good lord... loud bangs and arenas filled with gun toting weirdos are not a good combination. There was complete silence, then it was like a freaky ant hill. People went completely nuts... they were scurrying around trying to figure out who or what was shot, until they noticed a tiny little girl crying and holding the remnants of her prized balloon.
I swear I thought they were going to start shooting blindly into the air like that crazy cartoon guy.
I scooped up Nyla and tried to make a hasty exit, but unfortunately my dad called over the conservation officer dudes so we could discuss the best way to deal with our stupid bear. Apparently we live very close to where Alberta releases all of their trapped bears. GREAT CALL ALBERTA! I told him that our plan was to shoot it. He decided it would be great 'FUN' and wants to be in on it. At least he didn't say anything about me climbing into a trap to pour bacon grease on a rotten meat bag like his buddy did last year.
I swear, if I wake up and find a bunch of creepy dudes dressed in camo gear with fake trees strapped to their heads in my front yard I'm going to lose it.
In my opinion, these are all signs. Time to get out of here. I can't wait to pack our shite and drive away. It gives me the heebie jeebies...
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