Winter has its moments. I snowboarded for the first time this year and LOVED it. I actually didn't do too bad... the bruising on my ass was minimal, but in general I'm over winter.
I miss hiking. Even Nyla is begging to go hiking. Sigh.
Yeah, see... generally grumpy. Strangely enough, the only thing that seems to work to bring me out of this funky funk is blasting 80's tunes. Ya, we're rocking to the 80's. 'Poison' by Alice Cooper is my current favorite.
So, we now have wolves being all woolfey around here. I used to have such a soft heart towards animals in general, until I became a farmer. I'm ready to blow away anything that is threatening my space. The wolves are really a problem because they come right up to the house and the dogs are actually afraid of them. They tuck tail and hide... seriously. So, obviously I want to shoot them. I actually want to use grenades, but apparently they're illegal... pfftt. The 'funny' thing??? We aren't allowed to shoot the wolves. I made the mistake of opening my mouth about it in a public place. You'd seriously think I threatened to cook up and eat some one's mother. Now I'M the monster. AWESOME! Well, I've decided I don't give a flying rat's ass that wolves are protected species. I think if they want to remain protected around here they better re-locate their staanky asses.
So, if I end up in some kind of environmental prison for shooting them, please remember me. I like chocolate and will plan to take up smoking so I can further pollute the world... so send me smokes. I'll wash my clothes in regular phosphorous soaked detergent and feed a lot of beans to the other inmates... especially the ones who work in the greenhouse (get it... greenhouse gasses??? bahahahahaaa). I'm so bad-ass :)
And, to all of you who don't live in the armpit of the world and are actually experiencing spring already... SHUT IT. I don't want to hear about it. I mean it... if you so much as tell me about your flowering bulbs I'll get even with you. Gasoline and a match all over your happy little garden should just about take care of it right??? You've been warned.
4 comments:
Oh the rantings of Anita, ahhh, how nice it is to hear from you. You're awesome! - Carolyn
Oh Anita! You seriously make my day better! All your crazy animal escapades & weird farm happenings! Makes me laugh and generally overall happy!
Love you!
Hahahaha, thanks guys.
There's a shifty trapper man who wants to come 'take care' of the wolves... That in itself should be worth a good post.
My guess is that he doesn't actually want to kill them, he actually wants to form a wolf army that will roam the world doing his bidding. It's totally possible...
GOOD NEWS!!!!
Not a lot of people know this but as a farmer you have the legal right to shoot those wolves if you "feel" they are threatening your property, crops and/or livestock!
Then, AFTER you've blown the big bad wolf to bits you can call the conservation officer and tell him what you did and how you "felt threatened". And they will come clean up the mess.
Being a farmer is a thankless jackass job most of the time...except in this case. Happy Hunting!!! }:^)
Post a Comment