the best news EVER!

I was visiting a friend's blog the other day and found some really interesting and useful information. It's the kind of info that makes you feel all warm and happy inside... prepare yourselves for the wonder of it....
Imagine that someone really pisses you off, and not just a little bit. I mean SERIOUSLY pisses you off, but you aren't really allowed to hide in the bushes and beat them when they least expect it, you can't sneak up behind them and bitch slap them when they finally turn around, and you can't throw heavy objects at them... so what's a person to do??? I HAVE THE ANSWER check out http://www.mailpoop.com/ You can send them a big ol' pile of stinky, nasty dog poo. You can do it anonymously, but if I go through the trouble of ORDERING dog shit online when I have plenty in the woods around the house, you better believe I'm sending a big fat card along with it. Oh, you'll know its from me alright, and maybe, just maybe you'll learn to stop pissing me the hell off! Is this the greatest or what??
I know your first reaction might be "Well, that's a hell of a lot of gross." But now this info will be stuck in your head FOREVER, and next time someone really pisses you off you'll be thinking "Oh, you're soooooo getting a pile of dog shit in the mail buddy!!!" It will save you from snapping when keeping cool is more advisable. You'll thank me... if not now, someday soon.

I admit, my sense of humor is twisted. I enjoy the crazy in life. I'd enjoy sending you some dog poop. Heeheehee, just thinking about it is making me smile.

Let's see, what else is new?? Ummmmm, not a hell of a lot. It's cold. Winter came early. All the old dudes at the Co-op are talking about how this is going to be "A bitch of a winter". What I'd like to know, is how is that any different than usual around here. We live in the frozen north people! We are the ones that should be doing the whole cut open an animal and use it for a warm coat thing (I'm not a freak, try watching star wars). I'm feeling more prepared for this winter though. I'm ordering all the freaking cold weather gear for the kiddos, since we have no choice but to go outside at least twice a day to check the beasts of the fields. (Speaking of the beasts, two of those rat bastards just sauntered on home the other day... the same 2 that I spent HOURS chasing through the fields. I logged many a mile chasing those effers, and they just walk on home when they feel like it. PFFFFFT. Next time I'm just going to kick them in the weird llama ass).
And, since being snowed in for days on end is not cool, we have become a 2 truck family. I know some people think its wasteful to have 2 trucks instead of a truck and something more efficient, and I would have agreed with you at one time, but not anymore. When Darryl is working he's gone, sometimes for days. That means that I do all the farm stuff. It sucks to go to town and actually only have room in your vehicle to get either animal food or human food, so you choose one then get home and find that your driveway is totally drifted in (its about a mile long) and there's no earthly way you can power through that mess of snow in the wimpy blazer 4X4. So you dig and dig and dig, then give up and show some leg to the next dude with a plow that happens to drive by (kidding, we are waaaay out in the boonies... no dudes with plows just drive by... I'd totally show them some leg if it meant getting in my driveway though). Then, since you could only get one type of food, you realize that at the end of it all you still have to do it all again tomorrow. Effff that.
Now, I can get everything INCLUDING a load of water, then go all mad 4X4 lady when I get home. I can run over the effing moose that wags its stupid moose ass in my face all the time, and get home in time to check all the animals before it gets dark. See, much better being a 2 truck family.
And yet another reason to stand up and cheer HOORAY for leaving this ghastly land behind and moving somewhere that -40 is NOT NORMAL. I'm totally going to go all HEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY this winter, I just know it.